Last night I was lucky enough to attend the soft opening of 60 Beans Coffee and Tea’s brand new kitchen, now 60 Beans Kitchen and Coffee.  It was like being at an Astoria movers and shakers convention (yes, I am proud to call myself part of the category).  I saw many familiar faces of Astorians I’ve had the pleasure to get to know over my years as Single Girl (Queen of Astoria, The Brass Owl, Astoria Bookshop), and got to know a few more (A Story of Astoria).  I brought my bestie Amanda, the mastermind behind the upcoming Zymurgy Sessions (more info on that soon!), and we feasted.

We sat in the back where the comfy couches used to be, now filled with cherry and walnut two tops.  The tables themselves are beautiful, handcrafted by the architect, and continue to lend a homey, inviting feel to the space.  The fire place was going, the lighting was dim but not dark, the music muted and hip – in short, my perfect atmosphere.

Now, you may recall I had my soft opening at 60 Beans on Valentine’s Day this year, nearly selling out of all my goodies.  They were the first to take a chance on Single Girl the business and I’m forever grateful to owners Claudia and Peter for that.  Through that experience of selling SGC at 60 Beans and generally being a patron, I had a pretty good idea of what I was in for last night, and I knew it would be quality above all else.  I was not disappointed.

Salted Cod Croquettes

We started with the chicken liver pâté, salt cod croquettes and bitter greens salad.  The pâté was whipped, topped with whole grain mustard and presented with hearty toast, raisin chutney and housemade pickles.  I don’t have a bad thing to say about anything I had last night, but there were some clear stand outs to me and this was one of them.  The texture and light tang of the mustard as you spread the rich and flavorful pate on your toast was equally complemented by both the chutney and accompanying pickles.  The bitter greens salad was a favorite of Amanda’s, with the smoked croutons (what the what??) balancing out the sharp anchovy vinaigrette.  That is definitely another of my favorites and something I would urge you to try.

Chicken Liver Pâté

We moved on to the next course, Amanda having the mussels and me having the rigatoni.  I don’t eat mussels, but I soaked a bit of bread in the sauce.  It has the right amount of flavor and heat for me, and if I ate mussels, I’d imagine I’d love that part too.

You may think my choice of pasta at a new opening is a little basic.  And rigatoni at that!  Come on, you’re thinking, you can make that at home.  Be adventurous!  Try something new!  That’s all well and good, but when you have a chance to devour and enjoy an entire plate of homemade rigatoni with lamb Bolognese, you take it.  In fact, all their pastas are housemade and would make any Nonna proud.  All of this was accompanied by the charred kale sprouts – do you even know what a kale sprout is?  I didn’t.   Luckily, I was able to talk with Chef Domenick Gianfrancesco and Sous-Chef Pablo Nealon after the meal and ask them all my questions (and compliment them, of course).  A kale sprout is similar to a Brussels sprout in flavor, and is essentially a baby kale plant before it grows into what we know as kale.  It is exactly what its name implies – it is a kale sprout!  The only thing you need to know is that it is delicious and you need to order it.

We followed up with the young chicken entree.  Again, you may think, “Chicken?  Isn’t that a little basic?”, and again I will say you have to try it.  The chicken is brined and is full of flavor and sits atop parsnip puree and roasted root vegetables.  I ate a carrot and literally thought, “I didn’t know carrots could taste like that!”.

At this point, I had to put down my fork.  Sweets are a priority for me and I wanted to be sure I had room for dessert and a latte.  I am so glad I did!

Latte, Cheesecake with Apricot, Salted Caramel Custard

If my descriptions haven’t made you salivate yet and change your dinner plans to be dining here (they officially open tonight!), I say only this: salted caramel custard.  SALTED CARAMEL CUSTARD.  This was the absolute winner of my night and a must-try for anyone stepping foot in there.  Even if you stop in just for dessert and a glass of dessert wine from their extensive menu, get this.  You will thank me later.  I mean, is anyone really surprised that my takeaway favorite is a dessert offering?  I think not.

Salted Caramel Custard

I know there are still some menu tweaks happening, so while I can’t guarantee everything I ate last night will be exactly the same tonight, I can guarantee that the quality of experience will be.  I’m pretty sure the menu will be somewhat seasonal and subject to the best ingredients available at that time.  Again, are we surprised by the commitment to excellence?  I think not.

They’ll be open for regular coffee shop hours today until 5pm with dinner service starting at 5:30pm.  No worries though – you can still stop in for your post-work/pre-evening latte anytime until closing.

Congratulations to 60 Beans Kitchen and Coffee on their new venture!  Can’t wait to be back here again soon, supporting my locals and perpetuating the good 🙂

We all need outside validation from time to time.  To be told you’re good at your job, to be given a pat on the back for making the right call, or just to be sincerely told, “I love you”.  But the main source of our validation should come from within.  If you rely solely or mainly on outside sources to lift you up, you’ll find yourself in a terrible cycle, and it goes like this.  It starts with a high from that compliment or praise, which is exactly how we all feel when complimented, and rightly so.  But then like any rush, it subsides.  Without that source of validation that should live within, we crash.  Sound familiar?

Social media makes it easy to seek outside validation, easy to be caught up in the cycle of chasing that high, and easy to disappointed.  How many likes, hits, comments, you get on your content become a measuring stick for your own self worth, and if the numbers are low, well, then so are you.

Today is my birthday.  Before today, I had been having a hard time with this number.  34.  I am officially in my mid-thirties, and before today, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it.  I’ve always had this nagging feeling like I’m constantly pulling the wool over people’s eyes and one day they’re going to find out my secret; that I’m not nearly as talented as they think, or that I’m making it up as I go along, and that all this time I’ve been fooling them into thinking I’ve got it under control.   I think we all feel that way from time to time, and I think that’s ok.  Nobody can be 110% all day, every day. Here’s the crux of it all though: when those thoughts come, that’s the time to draw from your inner pool of validation.  I think of it like this: Everyone has a well of water (validation).  You drink from yours, everyone else drinks from theirs, and often times you give or accept drinks from other wells.  That’s great and fine, because you’re tending to your own and being satiated by the water from it.  But if you’re slaking your thirst by drinking from everyone else’s well, you’ll come back to your own and find it is dry.  It hasn’t been tended to.

Why is it so important to be able to validate yourself, you ask?  Maybe you’re having a bad day because you made a major blunder at work, or aren’t getting along with your friend/partner/family, or just have general doubts that you can’t seem to shake.  Those are the days when I need my inner validation the most.  Yes, maybe I did make a mistake, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still smart and intelligent.  Maybe I’m not sure if I made the right choice of words with a colleague or friend, but that doesn’t mean I’m worthless.  All it means is that I’m human, and so are you.  And maybe you’re not getting the outside validation you think you need or deserve, but that doesn’t mean that the people surrounding don’t still think you’re grand.

So bring on 34, and thank you ALL for the birthday well wishes.  It’s amazing (overwhelming) to me how people in your life come out of the woodwork to share their thankfulness of your existence.  I am just as thankful for each one of their presence in my life.  And tomorrow when it’s just another day, I’ll still be buoyed those wishes.  It will help to push me in the right, positive direction for my coming year.  And in this year, I welcome every flaw, wrinkle, blunder, and stumble.  Each one of those gives me an opportunity to learn more about myself and gives me a chance to continue to fill up my inner pool of validation.  Cause I’m awesome and so are you 🙂

Good morning!
So, yesterday I found myself on the other end of kindness and consideration. I woke up in a bad mood (you know those days) and my Sunday commute was further hampered by the MTA (shocker, right?) and, in retrospect, I was pretty hungry. I was shown patience and kindness, which certainly smoothed my rough edges, made some beautiful music with some very bright and talented kids, and then I ate brunch at Cafe Lalo, which helped my hanger situation. But my question to you is this – when you’re in one of those bad moods, the kind you kinda want to stay in because ‘nobody’s gonna make me feel better cause I’m just mad so don’t even try! 😤’ (as read in an 8 y/o voice), how do you get out of it?  

Do you wallow in it and experience all the feelings until they dissipate on their own? That’s what I like to do, to the consternation of my mother. She’s a fixer, and when she’s people that are less than happy, does her best to try and fix it. Are you a fixer, but self focused? Like you can see that your bad mood is a little ridiculous and so you force positivity on yourself to dig out of the pit? Fake it ’til you make it is a real thing, scientifically legit. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile) I’ve done that a time or two when I don’t have the luxury of being in a bad mood. Sometimes all it takes to lift my spirits is a song from my bank of Instant Happy Tunes, such as Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons Who Loves You? The irony of listening to that song for that specific purpose is the lyric “It’s hard to make believe you’re happy when you’re gray”. 

  
I think however you do it, it’s important to recognize the consideration you receive while in it. Remember what that feels like when someone smiles at you through your funk. My reaction is sometimes more anger, like “don’t smile at me, can’t you see I’m mad?! 😤” Totally unreasonable, I know, but there is still a sliver of kindness realization that cuts through all of that. “Oh! Well that’s kind of them ☺️” and the positive reaction starts. It doesn’t have to be a smile. It can be that someone didn’t push the close door button on the elevator just as you were walking in the building, or didn’t get upset when you snapped at them. 

Consideration is a beautiful thing, and it’s important to remember what that feels like to receive that in the midst of a bad mood, so you can give it back to others you encounter when they are in the midst of theirs. If we were all measured by our faults in our worst moments, none of us would have any friends. Luckily, we aren’t robots and have access to empathy, kindness, and most importantly, forgiveness. 

So give that stomping man with the determined look on his face in the subway some room. Smile at the frustrated looking lady behind you in the very long line for coffee. Hold open the door for the frazzled person juggling too many things. And remember that we’re all just trying to find our ‘happy’, and that we’re all in this together. 

Oh, and one more thing – try eating a cookie. I’ve never had it not lift my spirits 😊

It seems silly to write a post about a picture, but I was looking at it earlier and couldn’t help but notice how burned and blackened this baking sheet is. 

  
I’m the world’s best dish doer (they’re not clean until they squeak) and this is as clean as these get. I can see where my apple pies bubbled over and burned, and the spots where I’ve made thousands of cookies. And I see myself in this cookie sheet. Not shiny and new, maybe a little banged up and scarred, but strengthened by trials and fire. And I’ll tell ya something else – this baking sheet bakes the best damn cookies. Not the new brand name one I have (and never use – it burns the bottoms of my cookies), but this one. 

So the next time you feel ‘less than’ shiny or brand new or wonder what you have to offer the world, think about this burnt, old baking sheet. It might not look like much, but it’s done a lot of good for a lot of people. 

Shine bright, my dears. 

Why does inspiration strike so late for some?  And by late, I don’t mean being 80 and having your “blow-the-whole-game-wide-open” break through idea, I mean late in the day.  Or as most people call it, morning.  Without fail, the moment I lay my head on that pillow, I think of three things I meant to ask or say to various people in my life, 5 things I needs to and want to do tomorrow, and blog posts and lectures just come pouring into my head the way I’ve heard songs come to songwriters.  What am I supposed to do then?  Do I stop what is surely my brain’s way of unloading so i can get some restorative sleep to cram more things in there tomorrow so i can try to grab hold on something, or do I hope and pray that I remember something tomorrow and will myself to sleep?  Inevitably, I do the latter; the idea of getting up is less than appealing for this sleepaholic.

Last night’s continual thought was “Man, I can’t believe how good it feels too blog again!” and “What should I write about for my next one??”  I woke up and that theme was still with me.  I figure if something is still floating in my brain the next day, it must be worth remembering or acting upon.  And the more I thought about content, the more i became overwhelmed with the many, many stories I have yet to tell you about my adventures this year.  My trip to the Astoria Historical Society where my friend Bob told me stories I’d never heard about this place I love.  Or my fantastic evening at Cafe Ole and what it really means to be ‘family run’.  You should make a reservation there for a date night, btw, but only if you love great food, fresh cocktails, excellent service and the feeling like you’re not in NYC anymore.  It’s a place where cell phones never make it to the table.

For me, blogging is partially about the content, of course.  I’d hate to think i wasn’t contributing something at least positive or beneficial to the vast galaxy of the interwebs.  At the end of the day though, it’s about connection for me.  To feel like I’m connecting with souls that normally might be outside the reach of my life’s net that’s been cast.

The last few places I’ve visited have exemplified that connection and sense of mingling and intertwining red threads; The Let Love Inn, The Bonnie, and tomorrow Singlecut Beersmiths.  My return visit to The Let Love Inn made me two new friends, Walter and Jessica.  It started when Jessica passed me an open box of Girl Scout Samoas and said, “Would you like a cookie?  I’m giving them away for smiles.”  Good thing I wasn’t taking a sip of my drink (Dirty Brunette – bitter, refreshing, worth a try) or I may have spit it out!  I got all excited and said, That’s what I do!!  and told her the story of Single Girl Cookies.  She was amazed, loved the idea, told me she had just bought these cookies on the corner and thought, let’s share them at the bar – everybody likes cookies!  You can imagine the conversation ran from there.  Her boyfriend (I think), Walter, was a friendly guy and when i asked him his story, he told me how he ended up in Astoria, which included a degree from an upstate college.  One my bff graduated from and I had visited a few times.  Turns out they went to school together and he even knew some people from Penn Yan!  As big as this city is, any rando you pass on the street just may be your three-doors-down neighbor you never knew from your hometown.

They also told me about the Astoria Kickball Association.  “Whaaaa????”, you say?  Astoria had a kickball league??  For ADULTS???  Yes kids, it’s true!  I joined the Facebook group to get the info, and from what i can understand, they play pick up games in the park then grab drinks afterwards.  If that doesn’t sound like a best possible version of a Sunday afternoon, then I don’t want to know you.  😛

The Let Love Inn’s recommendation was their neighbor down the street, The Bonnie.  The Bonnie, as you may know, is the newest addition to a great group of restaurants all owned by the same group of folks (If i have my info right) – Wilfie & Nell, The Wren, The Penrose, Sweet Afton, and now The Bonnie.  Unsurprisingly, I had an equally entertaining and interesting evening at The Bonnie at I did at The Let Love Inn.  This time I decided to stay and have a drink and some fried pickles on my drop night, which I almost never do.  The staying on a drop night, not the fried pickles.  I always do the fried pickles 🙂

In the span of two hours, I met a woman who is starting a small business that promotes kindness, had a chat with the bartender Chris, who when I asked him his story, he said, “I’m an Irish bartender in New York.” and gave me a wry look that said, what else is there to say??  I also had a conversation with a young school psychologist that used to live in NYC but now work in New Hampshire.  Our topic (and his school platform): gender neutral bathrooms for transgender students.

And don’t even get me started on the thousands of characters and friends and brilliant people I’ve met at Singlecut Beersmiths over the years!  I’m really looking forward to heading there in a “professional capacity” tomorrow.  Who knows, maybe I’ll meet another potential new friend!  Well, I like to think of everyone as a potential new friend, hehe. I’m a glass half full kinda girl, what can I say?

As for my thoughts that bubble up at night and persist and nag until I do something about them?  They are there, in my brain, just waiting to be thought during the rest of my wakefulness.  Connection works that way too.  There are hundreds of possible connections out there, just waiting to be latched onto, the moment you decide to plug in to the rest of the world.  Take advantage of it.  Smile at that person on the subway, strike up a conversation with your elevator mate.  Connect.