To Be a Better Man
I’ve been staring at my screen for 10 minutes, having so many things to say and not really sure how to start. Things about thankfulness, and family, and cookies drops, but I keep coming up with nothing. I’m also surrounded by a small amount of chaos – 4 dogs, 2 parents, 1 sister, 1 b-i-l and 1 nephew that needs the watchful eye of all 5 adults present. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day that for me, marks the beginning of a season of thanks, of giving and fullness of heart. I believe we should act the way we tend to act around the holidays all the time, and by that I mean kinder, more thoughtful, more generous and more empathetic to others’ situationa. But, I realize that’s not the way the world works (yet) and so that makes me cling to the season more than others – because I feel like I’m living in a world that could be, one that I wish existed for the entire year, not just for these short, fleeting weeks. I like to think we are all our best versions of ourselves around the holidays.
With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, my usual cookie drop day, I am saving my next drop for next week when I am back in the city. Surely you caught that with the slight chaos illustration – I definitely can’t fit us all in my apartment for dinner tomorrow 🙂 But I can tell you about my drop this week at Prato on Steinway. I was previously at Samantha II Outlet, just up the street, and they sent me down to Prato. I’ve got to say, I’m kinda hoping the next few weeks brings me some female clothing stores, because I don’t have much need for menswear lately! I feel bad not being able to patronize these places, especially because they are small businesses and that’s what keeps Astoria going.
I walked into Prato, plate of cookies in hand, and garnered some looks from a few guys working there. The man behind the counter was on the phone, so when he noticed me, I mouthed something like, “I’ll just be over here until you’re finished.”, all theatrical and big. Which, as I looked around, probably looked hysterical to anyone that was watching. A girl with a plate of cookies. In a men’s store. Big smile. Big arm motions. Small, tight space. Yeah.
The gentleman behind the counter got off the phone and looked up at me. I took that as my cue to approach and launch into the spiel. That was the only eye contact I got. Unfazed, I continued telling him about Single Girl Cookies, how it works, I’ll come back on Sunday, but still only got that first, brief eye contact.
Admittedly, I left there feeling a little dismissed. The more I thought about it though, the more I figured he was being as dismissive as possible because he thought I wanted something and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I was going to finish my bit and follow up with a “….And that’s a $20 donation!” WRONG. And yes, I know this is nothing new, and people always (or a lot of the time) think I want something other than just spreading my kindness and message around the world. Ok, around the neighborhood, but go big or go home, right?
And that is where I am right now, at home. And it feels so good to be here. I’m nestled up the warmth of a coal stove with a doggie at my feet, Disney Jr. on the television as my nephew stays up waaay past his bedtime. And continues to talk about pumpkin pie and get real close to the edge of the table where the pie is situated. (he is my nephew, after all) He is also the kid that misheard me when I said “It’s prayer time” and looked at me wide eyed and hopeful and whispered, “Pie??” He thought I said “Pie time”. Family is one of the things I’m most thankful for this season. The loss of my grandmother, the matriarch of our family, has changed our dynamic a bit, and I think we’re all still trying to figure out how the remaining pieces fit together. We know they are supposed to go together, but the natural rhythm of our interaction has been disrupted. We will figure it out eventually, and I’m thankful that even in the worst of things, we stick together. Cause if things are crappy, wouldn’t you rather be surrounded by people that you love, that love you and most importantly, ‘get’ your brand of crazy?
Speaking of crazy, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the beginning part of my Sunday before picking up my plate at Prato. I met with Astoria’s own proprietors of Astoria Coffee, Dennis Lee and Liz Wick to do a podcast with Dennis Holden of Dennis Has A Podcast at Snowdonia Pub to have a little brunch before a little podcasting action. I brought cookies, of course, and they wee the perfect pairing to Astoria Coffee’s coffee, which Snowdonia now serves with brunch on the weekends!
After we finished brunch, we warmed up our podcast muscles and spent the next few hours talking about SGC’s mission, how you can be involved, and even tackled Dennis’s dating life! We talked so much that Dennis (DHAP) divided them up into two episodes to make a little easier to navigate. Check them out here and here!
As I found my way back to Prato, I was hoping to find a better reception, and was not disappointed. It always happens after people have had my cookies. There was a different guy behind the front counter this time and complimented me on how delicious the cookies were as he looked for my plate. I asked him where I was headed next week, and the boss from on high (upstairs) phoned down to say “Esquire”. Now, I hate saying no to people, as in “No, I can’t go there, I’ve been there before”, but I secretly am thrilled when a place gets recommended more than once. I explained the why, and asked for another place, to which the answer was “Venzini” Double whammy! I am super secretly thrilled now, because those have been two of my favorite places in recent months and I’m glad to hear that they are equally as highly thought of in the business community. I had to say no, no, I’ve been there too. Their third suggestion was a go, and so next week I will be visiting Portabello on Steinway.
As tomorrow gets underway, don’t be so consumed with ‘getting there’, or with making sure everything is done, or perfect, or whatever – just enjoy the time with those you love. As cheesy as it may sound to you, carve out 10 minutes to stop and really think on what you are thankful for. But don’t stop there. Don’t just say, “Yeah, wow, I’m thankful for that. Ok, on to the next thing!”. Whatever it is, don’t let tomorrow be the only day that you stop and give thanks. Let’s face it, we’re all just lucky (and should be thankful) to be alive. And I mean that in the most sincere way. I’m thankful that I’m not homeless. Were it not for my support system of family and friends, I very well could be by now! I’m thankful for not being hungry, even if that means I’ve made myself sick with copious amounts of apple pie.
There are people that could only dream of that. And (grandma alert) I’m thankful to all of you, for giving a shit about what I’m doing with Single Girl Cookies and all I strive to do and hope to do with it one day. Your positive feedback and words of encouragement are what I need sometimes to remind myself why I started this whole crazy thing in the first place – to make a difference and to make my world a better place. And as long as I’m doing that, I’m good.