We’re funny creatures, us humans.  I sometimes wish things in life were as simple as in the animal kingdom.  Some amount of cognitive feeling for certain specie, but others just relying and knowing nothing different than instinct.  But we are far more complex, for the good and for the bad.  We are able to feel complex emotions, connect with others, create meaningful existences, build lives.  We also have the power and thought to perform negative actions, intentional hurts, and do things that conflict with our true nature.   The complexity of my character lies within a conflict of needs and wants.  I sit here at one of my favorite neighborhood spots, The Queens Kickshaw, grappling with this desire for dichotomy.  Needing to connect with others but needing anonymity.  Choosing to be in a spot where I see familiar faces but choosing not to interact.

Those that grew up in a small town may be able to relate to that feeling.  Then again, maybe not.  I grew up in a small town of about 8,000 people (on a good day) and knew from age 16 that I would not live there, settle there and couldn’t wait to get out.  I knew everyone, everyone knew me, and at that age, did not like that.  Now as an adult, I love coming home to visit, and really for that reason of familiarity and knowing, but it took me a long time to get there.  That is the precise feeling of familiarity that I chose Astoria for, and a huge part of why I started Single Girl Cookies.  I could sense there was a community that I just hadn’t tapped yet, and the desire to foster that and help it grow was a part of what brought me to SGC.  To “bring the small town feel to the big city”.  But now that I’ve done that, and am being recognized and shouted at from passing cars and crosswalks, I long to be anonymous.

I would make a terrible celebrity.

This week’s drop was at everyone’s favorite spot, Sal, Kris & Charlie’s.  You probably remember this as the place famous for The Bomb sandwich that got one would-be flier detained at JFK a while back.  It’s chock full of about four kinds of meats, two cheeses, mayo, mustard, all the toppings – the works.  My stomach was pretty excited to be told this was where I was headed next.

I showed up on a regular Thursday with my plate of cookies and went in to give them my spiel.  As I waited in line, I could feel the other customers’ eyes on me and my plate, probably wondering what the hell I was up to.  I got the counter and said, “Hi!  My name is Renee and ….” Yada yada yada.  The guy looked at me and….nothing.  It took him a second to digest what I said and his next response was, “Ok….thank you….can I get you anything?”  I decided I should go as the public dictates and go with the (modified) Bomb.  He came back with my sandwich to wrap it up at the counter and then the questions started coming.  “So, when you come back, you want money?”  No.  “So, wait, you just do this?”  Yes.  “Are you sure you want to come back?  We can just give you your plate now.”  Nope, that’s all part of the SGC way.  I’ll be back.  And finally, “They’re not poisonous, right?”  No, definitely not poisonous.

He finished up wrapping and bagging my sandwich and drink and handed me the bag.  I said, “How much?” and he just shook his head, said, nah and shooed me away.  I graciously said thank you and went on my way.

I had originally planned to bike to the park to enjoy the sammy goodness, but if you recall, Thursday was the height of the ridiculous heat wave.  I biked back home where I sat to eat in air conditioned solace.  Now, I don’t know why they call it The Bomb, but if it’s because the overstuffed contents explode out of the bread when you bite into it, then it’s aptly named.  Or because it’s so big that if you eat the whole things, you’ll feel like a bomb ready to burst, that too is accurate.  I was only able to eat half of it, and even that was a stretch.  The hot peppers gave it more of a kick than I had thought they would, and while I’m glad I tried it, it might be a while before I attempt to tackle another 🙂

I came back on Sunday as “scheduled” and found an even bigger crowd inside than was there on Thursday.  I recognized someone that was working on Thursday when I dropped off my plate and told him I was here to pick it up.  He went back, I heard some shouting in Spanish about my ‘plato’ and finally someone came back with it, followed my a tall, bald man with a moustache, telling him to put it in a bag and make sure it was double bagged.  I snagged this gentleman’s attention and said that I needed a recommendation for next week.  He looked perplexed so I gave him the rundown of what I was doing.  He said that his son Nick, never told him about this and that he needed some times to think about it.  I asked,  “Like a few days or a few hours?”  He said to give him a few days.  Well, sir, I already did that.  I gently told him that I came in on Thursday and already gave a few days and I needed to know today.  He got very flustered and almost angry and said Gaudio’s on 30th and 41st, he used to go there all the time as a kid.  Great, I’ll go there, who can I say who sent me?  Turns out this gentleman was Charlie of Sal, Kris & Charlie’s.  Then he started to give me a disclaimer about Nick at Gaudio’s and how he can be a little edgy and that he doesn’t need cookies, he has so much money as it is.  Then started asking questions in what felt like an accusatory manner, like why do I do this  Why don’t you give them to the homeless?  Why don’t you give them to people who deserve them?

This is a kind of resistance I’ve never gotten before.  A negativity not born out of skepticism, but from a disdain for what I was doing in the first place.  Huh.

I explained that it’s actually up to him to send the act of kindness to people he thinks deserve it, how it’s my way of giving back to the community by baking and saying thank you to those that serve Astoria, but he gets to do something nice for others without actually doing anything.  And again, he comes with the, why would you do that?  And not give them to the homeless?  Sigh…

He was also not pleased with the parameters of a Single Girl Cookies drop.  As if each “rule” I laid out eliminated anyone he thought was worthy.  “It has to be in the neighborhood?”  Yes.  “Does it have to be a business?”  Yes.  “Because my mother does a lot of work with the homeless and she deserves something like this but you won’t go there.”  As if I’m personally insulting his mother by not making a house call delivery.

I said, “Look, yes, it has to be a business in the neighborhood, but it can be anywhere – I’ve been to all the firehouses, the police station, dry cleaners, restaurants, the New York Center for Rehabilitation and Nursing…” to which he interrupted me and said with a hint of defiance, as if daring me to say no (come on, like I would?  If it fits the rules, I go there), “Immaculate Conception”.  I said “excuse me?”  He said, “Yeah, Immaculate Conception”.  I then asked if that was a church and where it was located.  He said, “Yeah, it’s a church, Roman Catholic, right on the corner of Ditmars and 29th, you can’t miss it”, all said with this hint of defiance.  I, with a smile, replied, “Well, I live on the other side of the neighborhood, and am not Catholic, so I’m not familiar with it.”  His parting shot was “Well, what are you?”….because my religious affiliation matters somehow.   I thanked him and headed for my long delayed afternoon in the park.

Long story long, I’ll be heading up to Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church on Wednesday or Thursday morning to drop off cookies and thank them for the work they do with the homeless.  This will actually be my last drop for the summer before I head Upstate for the month of August.  Turtle Bay Music School, where I teach voice, closes for the month of August, so my choices were to sweat it out here for a month, or swim in the lake and pool with my family and doggies and have ridiculous amounts of nephew time for a whole month.  Hmm, no contest 🙂  Away I will go, but it’s about time for me to have a NYC break anyway and go somewhere where I can be more than 200ft from the nearest person.  My experience at Sal, Kris & Charlie’s also fueled my need for a change of pace and change of scenery.  Then when I come back, faces that seemed old will seem new again.

So, maybe walking the line isn’t about the line between anonymity and community, but the line within yourself, between wanting it both ways and being grateful for the way things are.  I know how lucky I am, and though I sometimes wish things were different (like maybe not being shouted at from a car by someone I know as I leave my apt building), I know I wouldn’t want them to actually be different than my current reality.  I know the grass isn’t greener.  My grass is pretty green as it is.  But go, choose new spots. Grow new roots.  And above all, be true to yourself.  If your self is saying “take a break”, then take that break.  No one else is going to tell you to.  By going away, it makes the return that much sweeter, poignant and meaningful.  As for me, I’m looking forward to missing Astoria.

  

Author’s note:  As I was sitting there writing, lovely Jen at TQK sent this delicious affogato over for me to enjoy.

Let me reiterate again how thankful I am for those generous and kind people that Single Girl Cookies has brought me too.  They continue to humble me with their generosity, even when I don’t deserve it.  

 

Renee Heitmann, Copyright 2013

Ugh. It’s hot. I know that’s stating the obvious, but that’s about the only thought I can handle at the moment. Add baking into the mix, and boy…..that’s a recipe for simulation of how it feels on the surface of the sun. Even with the air conditioner running.

My kitchen

Thankfully, my drop this week was Vanilla Sky on Broadway between 33rd and 34th Streets.

For the most part, frozen yogurt is frozen yogurt. This is one of those stores where you self serve your yogurt, add your toppings and pay by the ounce. The things that sets this apart from 16 Handles or Sweet Frog is the ambiance. Which, for this girl, is a huge distinction. As the name implies, the decor is white and blue like a sky, with calm curved lines and a back room with a high ceiling that gives lots of natural light and feeling of airiness. This is the place I would choose to get yogurt as an adult, where I can sit and relax in the calm without feeling rushed out by lack of seating, loud music or screaming pink walls.

The staff was friendly and nice, and the yogurt (I got pomegranate raspberry) was refreshing. I couldn’t stay as long as I wanted because I had a rehearsal to get to later that afternoon, but I couldn’t help but notice in the back room, there were some young couples, while in the front room, there sat two elderly men, drinking espresso. If that isn’t a slice of life in Astoria, I don’t know what is.

I asked for their recommendation of where I will go this week and a phone call was placed to the manager. I love now, how when I ask, if there isn’t a manager or owner around, there usually is a call made, as if this warrants that much importance. 🙂 It also helps me learn about the connections in Astoria. I asked who the owner was, and it turns out Alex that owns Chicken Shack, also owns Vanilla Sky. It was actually Ana, a manager at Vanilla Sky that gave the recommendation of Sal, Kris & Charlie’s for this week’s drop. Now, I know I get excited about every drop, but dude – you all know my love of sandwiches, and this is the mecca, or so I’ve heard. I’ve also been advised to get The Bomb, as that’s what they’re known for. If anyone has any other recommendations of what I should have, give me a shout. Turns out the staff at Vanilla Sky orders from them every Sunday as a tradition, and that’s why they are sending me there this week. Hmm, maybe I need to make another trip for yogurt to ask them what they get there….. 🙂

Another important step I took this weekend was something I never thought I’d do – eat oysters.

I grew up allergic to shellfish and only a few years ago found out I had outgrown that allergy and was in the clear, but had never developed the taste for seafood. But, with the emergence of Mar’s on 34th Ave, I really wanted to try (and like) oysters. So when I heard that there was going to be a pop up oyster bar from CRUDO sea and land at Singlecut, brought to you by Queens County Market, I was there. I figured it was low commitment, and if I didn’t like it, I had a great chaser lined up. Sam was my oyster coach and prepped me on all the ways of oyster eating, but when it gets right down to it, you just gotta go for it.

I ate two, one plain and swallowed and one with condiment and chewed. The second was definitely better than the first, and I’d even go so far as to say, I would eat them again! I guess there is hope for me and Mar’s after all.

Be careful today and the coming days of ridiculous heat. Drink lots of water, and remember to replenish your salts. When I look at my options on how to feel better of horrid days like this, or stop thinking about this oppressive heat, I really come up with two things: 1. Sit in my apartment in a room with the air conditioner at full blast. or 2. Go out to do something for someone. You may not think it’s that simple, but for me, it is. If I’m sitting in my room, chances are I’m not being productive, and still thinking, “Man, it’s so hot out. I’m here in the ac and I’m still sweating”. That accomplishes nothing and my give back to society is zero. I can complain about it, or I can change it. Not, the heat of course, but how I deal. I am flat out addicted to the feeling I get when I do something kind for another and give out cookies. And to back up my feelings, a friend of mine that I met along this crazy cookie journey just sent me an article that outlines evidence from recent studies, stating that we as human beings are happier when we are doing something good for others. Not just in that moment, but overall happier with our lives. Not that anything in our lives has changed, but we’ve changed, and for the better. So, being Single Girl may not cool me down, but it sure makes me happy. How do you beat the heat?

 

 

Renee Heitmann, Copyright 2013

I was putting together a video last night for a project with possible Single Girl Cookies involvement and as I was writing out my script, it brought me back to the very beginning of how this all came about and where it has taken me since then.  I need to say thank you to all of you who have supported this (and me) with your kind words, actions, donations, word of mouth ‘publicity’ and everything in between.  Your involvement makes this what it is and keeps it alive.  If nobody really cared, I’d still be delivering cookies every week and having a blast doing it, but YOU make it all the more fun.  THANK YOU!

I also need to thank Lauren Glassberg, Jason Holder and the Channel 7 ABC Eyewitness New Team for such a great spot last week!  I’m guessing most of you have seen the video clip from when it aired last Tuesday, but in case you missed it:

Astoria woman bakes and delivers free cookies to businesses | Video | 7online.

I was really pleased with the way it turned out; she got all the important bits in there, I didn’t look too drenched… 🙂  So a huge thank you to everything at WABC, and hopefully, I’ve got a few new kindness converts reading this right now!

This week’s drop was at Chicken Shack on 30th Ave.  If you recall, I was originally directed to Ponticello Ristorante but they are currently closed for their summer vacation.  So Chicken Shack it was.  I dropped them off late Wednesday night on my way to dinner with my roommate and her family.  They were all in town from Cali for a wedding, and I was leaving the next day for my brother’s wedding – it was just a wild and crazy family wedding weekend for everyone 🙂  As they headed to their destination, I swung by Chicken Shack to drop off the goods.

Now I’ve encountered skepticism in my day, most notably at Il Bambino, but this may have topped that.  Girls have this innate ability to give the most subtle yet most stank look when they dislike or are suspicious of something.  Don’t try to deny it, we’re all guilty of this once and a while.  Being on the receiving end of that is sometimes worse than outright derision.  But, I persevered through her skepticism and continued to explain what I was doing standing there with a plate of cookies.  She finally cracked when, after all of my explanations (I was starting to ramble, trying to break through with anything), I said, “There are no strings attached, I really don’t want anything from this”.  And she smiled.  Granted, it was just a hint, but it was there.

I continued on to dinner where I had the real highlight of my cookie week.  We ended up at Butcher Bar, which I had not been to yet, and if you haven’t been either, what are you waiting for?  Holy delicious, Batman!  I bet a bunch of you are nodding your heads, going “Well, duh”  I know, I know, shame on me.  Having lived in Philly for a few years while getting my Masters degree, I went with the Philly Cheese Brisket Sandwich.  I knew it wasn’t going to be a classic cheese steak (which I LOVE, btw.  Jim’s on South St is my fav. Or the White House Sub Shop in AC) but I was not prepared for how delicious it was.  Chock full of brisket, topped with a three cheese sauce dripping down my fingers, all on a nice big bun with a side of slaw and pickles.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the pickles or the slaw.  I prefer a vinegar based slaw, like the cabbage and rye seed at Queens Kickshaw.  I probably wouldn’t have had room for anything though, once I finished my sandwich.  I totally could’ve saved half of it to take home, but was leaving mega early in the morning to drive 6 hours for a wedding extravaganza weekend.  I definitely didn’t want any of that brisket to go to waste.

As a slight aside, not only did my brother get married this weekend, but being home means that I got to go to the happiest place on earth.  No, not Disneyland, WEGMANS!!  I am so stocked with fresh produce and amazing foods, I could throw a dinner party and still eat for days.  When this is what you see when you walk in, how can you not love it there?

I returned back to Astoria only on Tuesday afternoon, so Wednesday (yesterday) I went to pick up some lunch and my plate.  First I swung by SITE to pick up a plate there and see what kinds of good deals there were.  The store is really starting to clear out, but there are still lots of great must haves at 40% off.  Come on!  You gotta get there before it closes, but also, how excited are we for Lockwood to open up??  I know I am.

I got to the Chicken Shack and explained to the lovely young lady behind the counter what I was looking for, and if they could give me a recommendation.  I got my plate, put in an order for a chicken pita (Come on, it is still Astoria after all) and she told me to head to Vanilla Sky on Broadway.  Imagine my excitement – now I have an actual excuse to get froyo!  It’s practically a requirement.

As I waited for my food, I started chatting with the girl behind the counter, Fara is her name, about where she comes from, what’s her story, etc, when this older Italian man interrupts us with an “Excuse me miss, Signorina?  yeah, can I get a diet coke but with no caffeine?  *shows bruise on arm * See I was just in the hospital and gotta have no caffeine.”  Sidenote – please read this with a stereotypical New York Italian accent.  Fara kindly helps him, I’m not offended, just amused – we were only chatting anyway.  And to further paint the picture.  he was very tan, I could see the roots coming in on his hairline and moustache, big dark stylish sunglasses, and a lot of machismo swagger.  We continue chatting, and he comes back again.  “Signorina, I’m sorry, but this has caffeine.  I can’t drink it. I’m very strong, you know, but *show arm again* I think I broke a muscle or something.”  Fara takes the Diet Coke and trades it out for a Sprite.  A minute goes by, “Signorina, you listen good, you know dat?  I gotta have a glass a’wine, my arm is killin’ me.  I was just in the hospital, you know.  But I’m not afraid of dying.  I’m not afraid. I got stabbed in the back once.  Yep, stabbed with a screwdriver.  I ain’t afraid.”  Oh.  My.  Lordy.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I love this neighborhood 🙂  Truly, it is full of characters.

So today I’m off to Vanilla Sky for some froyo and a swing by to Singlecut to see my lovelies – ooh, and to check out the new t-shirts they have.  I saw them on twitter and they look nice!

I’m also starting to mentally prepare for being away for the month of August.  The school where I teach voice closes for the month, so unless somebody’s got a one month job for me here, off to home it is!  First, a week in the Outer Banks with my family, then back to Upstate.  What I’ve decided to do with SGC is to take it on the road!  I’ll do a couple drops in Single Girl fashion in North Carolina and then do “single Girl Cookies:  Hometown Edition” for the month of August.  I need a place to start at both of those locations and am taking requests!  It still doesn’t feel right for me to choose the starting place, so the place with the most recommendations gets the drop!  Leave a comment, shoot me an email, or tweet to me who YOU think (in OBX and Penn Yan) deserves the next plate of cookies!

 

Renee Heitmann. Copyright 2013

July 4th weekend!  There’s nothing like it, no matter where you are.  Lucky for a lot of you reading this, you happen to live in the greatest city in the world (some in the best neighborhood ;)).  I hear there are fireworks at Citifield after the game on Wednesday night, I’m sure we’ll have the usual street fairs on Thursday, and I know my friends at Singlecut are having a special July 4th Edition of Trivia Night.  All this to celebrate our country’s independence.  I find that especially moving living in Astoria where it is such a melting pot of cultures, races and generations.  That’s what makes this place so great!

And speaking of cross culture, this week my drop was at Max Bratwurst and Bier on the corner of 30th Ave and 47th Street.  I actually used to live over in that part of the ‘hood on 48th and 30th (I’ve had 3 apartments in my 4 years here.  Moving and I are bffs) and watched it go in.  Embarrassingly enough, I had not been there to eat until now. And for anyone else that is saying the same thing, GO.  You will not regret it.

I did my typical drop on Thursday, just the usual “Here are some cookies, yada yada, I’ll be back for the plate, see you then!”  And then all weekend I looked forward to picking up my plate so I could have dinner there 🙂

I came back to Max’s on Sunday, hungry and excited.  I had biked to the LIC Flea earlier that day and all that biking had worked up a appetite.  That’s another place you have to check out, http://www.licflea.com.  Open on Saturday and Sunday from 10-6, it’s exactly what you’d think a flea market in LIC would be; a perfect blend of artisan booths, great food, and antique pop up shops on the water in LIC.

The view from LIC Flea

I had a delicious donut (for $1!) from Old Fashioned Doughnuts, bought a vintage Paloma Picasso scarf from Harold and Maude Vintage and spent the rest of my time avoiding food stalls, trying not to ruin my appetite for later that night.

Antique fire helmet

 

When I got to Max Bratwurst and Bier, I was ready for some good food.  I sat outside in the back of Max’s seating area so I could be close to my bike because my lock broke and I didn’t want to take any chances.  When Daisy, a server there, returned my plate to me, she gave me two cards, each good for one free bier.  I decided it would be very un-German of me to have a brat without a bier, so I cashed in one of my cards, ordered a Farmer hot brat and a side of fries and kicked back with my Hofbräu.

Fun fact, did you know HB was gluten free?  I was informed by the friendly waitstaff that most of the biers they serve at Max’s are gluten free.

When the food came out, it was more than I expected.  You definitely get a bargain for what you pay.

The brat was so good, nice and spicy without being overwhelming, topped with sweet peppers and caramelized onions, and the fries were nice and crispy on the outside with an almost melty hot inside.  Two foods I will never get tired of eating are french fries and cake.

I told Daisy a little bit about Single Girl Cookies and told her I needed a recommendation for next week.  She called up the owner and came back with Ponticello Ristorante.  Now, after being all around the neighborhood, I rarely am close to where I live, but this is three blocks away!  It’s also another place I’ve walked past for years and haven’t been.  And, if I’m being truthful with you, I’ve been watching The Sopranos lately and have had such a craving for Italian food.  Same thing happens to me when  watch Mad Men, except with whiskey.

Now, this weekend I’m out of town again for my brother’s wedding and have to do my drop on Wednesday.  I called to check their hours to make sure they were open and find out that starting that night at 9, they close for three weeks for summer vacation.  Well, darn!

As I’m finishing my brat (I just can’t say enough good things about it, so good), the owner, Renis (pronounced Renny) and a group of his friends have a seat at the table next to mine.  There are many thanks passed around and I tell him about Ponticello’s and that I need another recommendation.  He tells me that his friend Alex owns The Chicken Shack on the corner of 35th and 30th and that’s where I should go.  Either way, I’m still going to be very well fed 🙂

I finish my brat and bier, and Renis sends another bier over from him as a thank you for the cookies.  That opened the lines of communication, as that kind of gesture tends to do.   I like to ask people, “What’s your story?”.   It is purposefully open ended so people can actually choose what they want to share, rather than answering a very pointed question like, “So, what do you do?”, and also, we are more than being defined by our job.  I asked Renis, and all of his friends that were hanging out, what his story was.  I found out he’s a young entrepreneur with a wife and child at home, who opened up this place because he saw a hole in the offering of food in Astoria, and that there wasn’t a German place besides the Bohemian Hall.  Originally from Albania, he moved here when he was 16 after his parents came for a better life and has worked his way up to business owner.

I asked his many other friends a little bit about their background and how they got to this place, NYC/Astoria/where they are in life.  One was from Croatia and had been here 18 years, another been here only a year from Italy, another a German born Italian with the craziest accent I’ve ever heard who identifies as “Italian with a German education”and is taking ESL classes geared at those going to college.  I was the only US born American at that table.

And isn’t that one of the greatest things about living in Astoria?  You can turn a corner and be surrounded by literally 10 different cultures, 4 different languages, 5 different cuisines, and you’ve just stepped out of your doorway.  As different as we all are, the thing that unites us and makes us all the same is that we are all working toward the same goal, a good life, good friends, and happiness.

This group asked me where I hang out.  I replied, “I don’t, really.” I explained that most of my friends are into their own thing, schedules are hard to get together and I don’t have many friends anyway.  Renis pulled back, slightly offended and said, “Hey, what are we now?  Are we not friends?”  Indeed, we are now.

So, enjoy this weekend!  Celebrate your independence safely, knowing you have the freedom to do things you love and live your dream.  Thanks, Astoria, for making that possible for this Single Girl 🙂

 

Renee Heitmann, Copyright 2013